An Empty Heart
by DoingJeanOnTheSide
Summary: Yu Kanda is tired off his life, but all he needs to do is realize what he has before he loses it.


This is an older story, writen 1/16/2012

There is CanonxOC, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

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An Empty Heart

Every day the vein in his forehead seemed to get one step closer to popping; school here, a project there, his father _everywhere._ Everything was against him and everything was annoying him. Now he had to wait for the single piece of straw that would send the whole thing tumbling down. Camels were only so strong.

Today was looking to be just that single day. After finally peeling his father off him, the bus ride wasn't that great either. First off, his annoying _"self-proclaimed best friend" _sat by him, when he would've rather been alone. The red-head was smart, but he wished he wasn't so smart. Because when a smart annoying kid like that meets the simply annoyed _Asian_ kid, he does some unwanted things.

"Hiya, Yu-chan!"

Like look up annoying things about Japanese culture and pin a stupid suffix onto his _first_ name that no one was allowed to say.

"Shut up, baka usagi," He was just as fine to reply with words the red-head couldn't understand.

He smiled before taking his seat, "Cheer up. Last daya Sen'or year, the' afta graduation tamorra, ya never hav' ta see me again."

"Thank god," _Yu-chan_, or Kanda replied. He really didn't mean that, but sometimes his negative side got the better of him. His cold personality went with his looks; pale skin, long dark hair, piercing dark eyes; the mere opposite of the one sitting beside him. Lavi Bookman was always a bubbly and happy skirt-chaser who prided himself on being Kanda's best friend and the bane of his existence. And in stark contrast, he had tanned skin, red hair, and a single green eye, happy like the little elf dancing through the fields. The other eye wasn't there. Kanda knew why.

"Ya don' mean that," Lavi smirked, nudging him slightly with his shoulder.

Kanda rolled his eyes, expressing that, yes, he did, in fact, mean that. But he didn't.

Another fifty-million stops later and the bus was finally at the school. Lavi was right; it was their final day of senior year, final day of High School. Kanda was turning 18 in one week, he being one of the younger seniors there.

By the time they walked into school, to be meted by another one of Kanda's _friends_, Kanda was sure he was going to burst into flames. This kid wasn't even a senior. He was a junior, but Lavi swore that didn't matter. Day after day he'd go on about how bad it would be to lose part of their group, seeing as how the final one of the group, who was yet to be seen, was also going to college soon.

And hell had already frozen over; they were all going to the _same. Damn. College._ Kana wanted to shoot himself, but he wouldn't. He really didn't mind. Yes he did.

"Hey, Lavi!" the short kid waved, ignoring Kanda's existence like normal. He did shoot him a glare for good measure, but Kanda was way above caring what the little beansprout did.

"Hey, Moyashi!" Lavi responded back with a laugh, only to cover himself with his arms as the kid tried to hit him.

"It's _ALLEN_!" He shouted, with a smile of course. Lavi had gotten into the habit of calling a certain Allen Walker, _moyashi_. That's what Kanda called him all the time, feeling himself too high to call the kid by his real name. Not that it mattered, Allen would reply with another horrid nickname, not at all better than _Yu-chan._

"Will you two, _children_, shut up?" Kanda snapped, pushing them apart.

"Wah!?" Lavi pretended to look like a kicked puppy, "But YU-CHAN! Toda's for celebratin'!"

"That why you didn't do your homework?" Kanda raised an eyebrow, a smirk evident.

"Shhhhhhhiiiiiiitttt!" Lavi cursed; turning and quickly running down the hall while trying to keep his shoulder bag on.

Kanda felt the need to laugh, but he only scoffed and started down the hallway with Moyashi. In silence, they could be in each other's presence, even walk side by side. But only in silence, or so Kanda told himself. Half way down the hallway, Allen bid Kanda a goodbye as he reached his own locker. Kanda only nodded and sped up.

His locker was, regretfully, right next to Lavi's. On the other side was the last person of their group, still nowhere to be found. Kanda wanted to laugh again when he saw Lavi trying to desperately finish his AP Physics homework. Luck was secretly wished upon him as Kanda's thin fingers unlocked his locker. Once it was open, his books were quickly found and dropped on the floor, he followed suit.

"Question 4, that's wrong," Kanda scoffed, opening a book to read.

"WHA!? NOOOOoooooo waaaayyy!" Lavi whined, dropping his head onto the book. "I hat'school, Yu," he sighed.

"Sorry," came Kanda's most sympathetic reply.

"Ca'I see your homework?" Lavi asked.

"No, but the answer's on page 347," Kanda explained, turning the page of his book.

Lavi shot up, "Re'lly?! Than's Yu!" He dove back in to finish his homework.

What felt like hours passed before more books fell on Kanda's right side. He peered over to see thin black boots, decorated with a green strip, almost _neon_. It hurt to look so he looked away. With a sigh, a figure fell beside him.

"He's nuts, downright nuts!" she explained, holding her head.

"What he do this time?" Lavi chimed in, throwing his finished homework to the side. He was annoyingly leaning _on_ Kanda.

"Spent all morning freaking out about graduation, if my _dress_ was going to be suitable for it, if guys were going to look at me. I mean, like, seriously. Leave me alone, I'm a big girl now," the young lady, Lenalee, explained. She was the sister, much younger sister, of one of the teachers at school. He was pretty much her guardian at this point, but it didn't matter. They were still brother and sister.

"Sounds rough," Kanda sighed. If there was one person he was sympathetic to, it was Lenalee. He'd been friends with this pig-tailed girl since kindergarten. Of course, Lavi would argue he followed suit in 1st grade. But Kanda wouldn't be having any of that.

And if things couldn't get worse at the moment with an overgrown child leaning on him and a slightly hormonal girl spilling out all her morning troubles on him, Moyashi just had to walk up at that moment to sit beside Lenalee. It was no secret that the two liked each other, but even less of a secret that they _weren't _dating. Not. At. All. Unless it was counted the times Allen went with Lenalee to weddings she desperately needed someone to go with, or that one time he went to their house for Thanksgiving to avoid spending it with his family.

Most people didn't.

Kanda tried to shut them out at that point, but it wasn't exactly working. He was over joyed when the bell rang, but then he remembered. His first class, English 4, he had with all three of them. After that he had Pre-Calculus with Lenalee. So on and so on, he didn't get a break from these half-wits until the last class of the day. He hated that class with a passion, the teacher was one of Allen's weird relatives. Really weird….

All day it seemed, besides his normal problems, he was being bugged. In this school, there were three groups. His group of four, their group of whatever, and neutral. It came from a falling out Kanda had had with an old friend named Alma Karma. After a while, Kanda couldn't take his clinginess and whatever else he had to give and ended up socking him square in the nose. Sent him to the hospital for a good week. After that they hated each other, and two of his old friends even changed to hang out with Alma and not him. So that made three, but over the years Alma gathered support. Kanda didn't care, they had numbers, and he had strength.

His little group of misfits was more skilled than people would've imagined. Kanda was put through kendo and judo as a child. Lenalee was forced to learn all sorts of self-defense techniques after an incident in kindergarten when she fell off the monkey bars. Allen, being in his creepy family, had spent plenty a night sneaking out to learn a few things himself. With his creepy cousin always trying to attack him and that weird eye he'd get from his uncle every now and again, he had his rights to go learn a few things. Not to mention the person he lived with wasn't exactly the epitome of a great guardian.

It didn't matter how many people Alma had on his side. Kanda could kick his ass any day, and he'd be proud to. Any day of the week.

Just why did it have to be today? That stupid kid was prodding him and provoking him to do something. And Kanda was not known for his patience. He was forced into anger management in fifth grade after beating up a kid that was taunting him for doing badly on his test. Not soon after did he get kicked out of anger management.

Get this; the grounds were that he was too mean.

He was always ready to show it though, but he'd just have to wait till the end of the day to beat him up. With a growled warning, Kanda hurried off to his locker to throw his books. Grabbing his lunch box, he almost ran to catch up with Lenalee and Allen. He'd be left alone as long as he wasn't alone. Yay for retarded logic.

"What's up, Kanda?" Lenalee asked when he finally came to a stop beside her.

"Stupid Alma won't leave me alone," he growled, "trying not to beat him up."

Lenalee smiled, but it was far from an innocent smile, "Well, just two more classes, Kanda. Keep it up."

He nodded, crossing his arms and catching his breath.

They met Lavi in the cafeteria and ate lunch. The entire time they were scheming, of course. This was what always happened. These four would sit in one corner of the room while Alma's group of ten or so would sit at the other end. And when one of them was annoying the other, they would scheme instead of talk about sports and classes and stupid things that happened over the weekend. In the middle sat the neutral kids. While no one said it, these two groups scared the poor neutral kids. It wasn't the first time that a fight had been waited on until after school. Only last time, it couldn't wait long enough to get outside. Kanda threw the first punch, knocking a kid into the lockers. And they all jumped him.

That fight happened on a day where Lenalee and Allen weren't there. So it was Kanda and Lavi, back to back, against eight or so guys and a couple girls. They kicked their asses all the way back to their houses, sent them away crying with their tails between their legs. Knocking their knuckles together, they praised themselves for being better than Alma's stupid group.

That had been two weeks ago.

Not that they were known for not having fights every so often. Two weeks was about the most they could go, not counting breaks. And since they had just gotten to the two week mark, it was time for another fight. Not that anyone was counting.

After lunch, classes passed all too quickly. Or class, because once Kanda walked into his last class, he wanted to shoot himself. The teacher was more annoying and creepier than anyone he knew so far. His name was Tyki Mikk, and only god knows how he got a job working with children. Or maybe it was just Kanda who got that weird vibe from him. It was probably that weird look he got whenever he walked in. Those looks made him want to possibly cut his hair and hide in a corner all day. Just so he looked more like a guy. But that aside, when class actually started, it seemed all this Mr. Mikk wanted to do was annoy Kanda. When he didn't know an answer and was trying so hard not to get called on, he'd get called on and end up mumbling that he didn't know.

Only to have Mr. Mikk walk him through it and make him feel like even more of an idiot. And then when he did know an answer, he wouldn't get called on. His participation grade was never higher than a five out of ten. This kept his overall grade at a B. And to take it farther he always had his father on his back about doing better. Kanda tried, but this stupid teacher was at fault.

He was never happier when the final bell rang and he could leave. After a few weeks in this class, he learned to get out fast enough before he could be asked to stay after class. Then he was home free. But not today. No longer was he in the mood to fight, so he just wanted to grab his bags and hope his father was there to pick him up. If not, then he was totally screwed.

Just as his luck would have it, he was totally screwed. He walked out of the building, Lavi to his left and Lenalee and Allen to his right, just to be met with Alma and his gang. With a sigh, they moved to the back. Being the honorable people they were, they tried to let their little rumbles happen out of sight.

But today, Alma didn't feel like being honorable. No one had a chance to drop their bags before he threw the first punch, and just to be a bigger ass about it, it was a right hook to land square on Lenalee's jaw bone. She had just enough reflex to move with the punch so it didn't _break_ anything. But her mouth started to bleed as her teeth dug into the side of her mouth. After that, all hell broke loose. Allen went straight for Alma, just out of rage, so he was gladly backed up by Kanda. Lavi and Lenalee went for his stupid goons off to the side. Like every fight, get rid of Alma and they lose, get rid of the four misfits and they lost. Alma was the only one who could fight for shit on their team.

And then it happened. With a smirk, Alma ducked below Allen's punch and came up to kick Kanda square in the gut, throwing him back. Even has he hit the brick wall with a _crack_, Alma still had to come up and continue to punch him. It took the rest of the three to get him off of Kanda, with a final throw of Lavi; Alma was on the other side of the lot on his ass.

"Yu!" Lavi shouted, trying to get his attention. If there was one thing he knew about this kind of situation, it was don't let the person fall asleep or pass out. That could mean coma.

"Kanda! Kanda open your eyes, come on!" Lenalee pleaded, trying not to shake him as her hands landed on his shoulders. That crack, they all heard it. Each and everyone one of them heard that crack.

The last thing Kanda saw before black covered his eyes was Allen trying to hold back Lavi. And he was failing. Lavi got free, just to go beat the crap at of Alma just as the black filled Kanda's vision. And then, there was silence.

Suddenly, a shadow cast over the darkness of his eyelid. Previously, there was sun, but now, it was gone. Kanda's eyes flickered open to be met with a face. A face he'd never seen before. It was soft with a slightly pointed chin but round cheeks. There was a small nose, slightly pointed and perky. The eyes were perfectly rounded and the eyeliner around them came to a point near the end. On her left cheek was the something that resembled a broken gear, decorated with green sparkles. Her ears were ever so slightly pointed, but pointed enough to stick out of her hair and give her the demeanor of what Kanda knew to be called "elves." But they didn't exist.

This girl had long brown hair, down to her mid back. However, from right at her shoulders it was pulled into a loose braid. She had long strands of hair in front of her ears that came down to about mid chest. Other than that, she had some bangs that were ever so perfect despite their unevenness. The color of her eyes matched perfectly her hair, yet they sparkled with the joy and curiosity of a child.

Her hand was extended, Kanda finally noticed. Her fingers were long and thin, coming to a point with her nails, each on perfectly filed and white. She wore simple clothing. The sleeves were tight around her elbows but came down to a large almost trumpet sleeve near her wrists. Her collar was circular, coming tight around her shoulders at where they met her collarbone. He soon realized it was a dress she was wearing, with a sash tied around her hips, and at where it flared out in its breathable material. The wind blew right through it, taking it along with it. The dress was lacy and ivory.

"Are you alright?" she finally spoke, realizing Kanda wasn't going to take her hand. She retracted it, almost embarrassed she'd left it out for so long.

"I think so…" Kanda mumbled, pushing himself to sitting. He remembered being in a fight, yet the pain of broken ribs didn't come when he sat. He didn't have a headache, no pain in his back, no blood on his face; like he'd never been in the fight to begin with.

"What's your name?" she stood straight to allow him space to stand. Which he did. When he stood, he noticed he wasn't wearing his school clothes anymore, rather, different pair of dark wash jeans with a white button up shirt, only half way buttoned. Like a self-conscious child, he buttoned it up to hide his tattoo. He wasn't supposed to have one.

"Kanda," He replied, moving to eye the girl curiously. "Yours?"

She titled her head to the side.

"Uh, what's your name?" he asked.

"Oh!" she clapped her hands together and smiled. "I'm Ylia, nice to meet you," she didn't extend her hand again though.

"Yeah…" he was all but weirded out at the moment. Even more so when the girl turned and began to walk away, a slight skip to her step. When he didn't follow, she stopped and turned.

"You coming?" she asked.

"Where?" he took a step, slightly hesitating to take another one towards the girl.

"Um, that way?" She pointed off to the distance. Only then did Kanda take in his surroundings.

He was in a field with tall grass and flowers. Off in the distance there was a forest, and farther than that he saw a very large tower. The sky was a perfect blue, not a cloud or discoloration in sight. Everything was perfect.

"What exactly is that way?" he asked, catching up to her.

"My home, the village of the elves; the heart of the forest" she smiled and began to walk away. Kanda stood there, dumbfounded for a minute. One second he's getting beat up, and the next he's walking with a skipping girl to the village of the elves. What kind of screwed up dream was this? He pinched himself, and barely covered his gasp as it _hurt_.

Ylia stopped, "Are you ok, Mr. Kanda? It's not that far of a walk, I promise," She smiled.

"Yeah, fine," He began to walk beside her, listening to her happy voice tell him about the woods and her village. She was cute to listen to, and Kanda found himself not getting annoyed. It was the weirdest thing, a kind of feeling of respect. He wasn't wary to follow the girl down the hill that appeared and into the dark woods. He felt the strangest need to keep up with her.

As he continued to walk, and she skip and spin every now and again, a light suddenly appeared at the end of the path. It was a white light, one that seemed to radiate pureness. It gave him an odd feeling, like he didn't belong. Once he entered, things were very different.

Ylia was gone, for one thing. There was no light and there was no feeling purity. Instead, it was dark and smelt of too much industry and explosions. The sky was covered in smoke stacks from the towering factories. The ground was covered in that same smoke. Kanda's near black orbs started to water. He blinked it away quickly, but continued to blink as he walked forward.

"Ylia?" he called, trying to find the girl. But there was no response. Behind him, there were no woods, no hills, no grass, and no flowers. It was like he entered a completely different world.

So, being the strong young man he prided himself on being, he trudged on, walking on the steel path before him. The billboards kept reading of a momentous day, and he knew if he followed them he'd understand more where he was. All he knew was that he was in some strange place called Lee's Industry. That was the town's name, city's name, whatever. Strange as he thought it was; he paid little mind to it and followed the steel plating, lined by steal flowers that looked like those from a Lego set.

Soon he came to the town square, and it was full of people. They were crowding a central point. It was weird to see people in this setting, but less weird to see half of them with robotic prosthetics. In the square where they were crowding, there was a large stage almost, but all Kanda could see was the ornate top of a very tall chair. Being curious now, he decided to wedge his way through the crowds to see what was going on.

His eyes widened when he saw someone very familiar. Her head was adorned in a metal headdress, her dark green locks flowing from it elegantly, the same locks decorated with sparkling bits that appeared to be small gears and bits and screws almost. Her arms were covered by metal plating, decorated in gold. The dress was made of a metal breast plate as well as a long flowing skirt. But all he could do was call:

"Lenalee!"

This caused the girl to look at him. That indeed was her name. But when she looked at him, it was not with familiarity, it was with confusion and something along the lines of scorn. She tugged on a sleeve of the man beside her. When he turned around to hear her whisper, Kanda could see it was Komui.

Now he was confused.

When Komui straightened to look at Kanda, he smiled, motioning for something. Next thing Kanda knew, something cold and metallic was wrapping around his bicep, tugging hard to bring him backwards. Without knowing what was happening, he decided to follow to minimize damage to his arm.

Kanda was pulled from the crowd and immediately blindfolded. Still, he put up no resistance. Rather he kept his arm than fight. Once tightly blindfolded, he was pushed and pulled and moved until finally he was stopped. One final time he was pushed, but this time he just fell straight to the floor, only to be yanked back up to his feet, clicked into a chair, and had his blindfold ripped right off. He tried to move his arm, but realized that was what the clicking was, being strapped into the chair by metal cuffs.

"How do you know her?" a voice asked, it was Komui.

"I don't," Kanda said. He hadn't remembered making his mouth move or willing the words from them, but there they were.

"Really? You calling her name seems to point otherwise."

Now he knew why that had come out of his mouth, if he was an ass he'd get out of this chair, "Maybe you're just old and hearing things," he smirked.

Komui looked none too pleased with that remark. Slamming his fist down onto the table, he smirked. Kanda was suddenly wrenched from the chair, only to be punched in the jaw. He scrambled to his feet and took charge. Ramming his entire body into the attacker, the large half robot man fell down. To make it final, Kanda had his foot connect with the man's face before he took off and ran.

He didn't know where he was going, but as long as the people chasing him wouldn't catch him, it was fine. Only now did he secretly thank the gods for all those times he'd been forced to play tag with Lenalee when they were children. That came in handy here, it was just like tag. When a tight corner came, he didn't even need to think about it when he rounded it. The guards had to slow down a little. And when there was a fork in the road, Kanda didn't need to stop and think about which one to take; he went left, right, left, straight, left. Just wherever his feet let him. He was fast, so each time a break came; the guards had to spilt up because they hadn't seen where he'd gone.

Luck was only on his side for so long though. Kanda soon found himself at a dead end. Only one way in and out, the hallway he'd just came through. Either he'd continue to run through this maze of a metal building, or he'd stand in fight. Being the stubborn bull he was, he planted his feet on the metal and listened to the pounding feet coming closer.

When they emerged from around the corner, Kanda was met with the two biggest guards. He gulped and felt the sweat run down the back of his neck. This was not going to go well, but he wasn't going to back down, not now.

"There it is!" one of them shouted. Either that was an insult or they were too stupid to realize what gender he was.

They ran at him, and that was when Kanda realized he had an upper hand in agility. When the first punch came, he ducked below it to slide underneath one set of legs. When he came back up, he kicked the person down, turning to the other one. But as he turned to face him, he didn't see the fist coming at him. One to his jaw, one to his ribcage, and a kick to push him down. Then a hand flew right though his chest and he heard someone say—

A strange feeling around his mouth woke him up. There was something strange under his back, something hard. But he ignored it as he tried to sit up. Kanda was shocked to see Ylia pushing him back down on what he now knew was a rock that was shaped somewhat like a chair. Not exactly, but close enough.

"You took quite the fall there, Kanda," she smiled.

"What? A fall? I didn't—" he tried to sit up, but Ylia shushed him and pushed him back down.

"I was right there. We were going to enter my home, and you just collapsed."

"What? No I walked through! And then everything just changed!" He swore, trying to convince her, or maybe himself.

Ylia clicked her tongue and shook her head, "No, I don't think so. You collapsed and hit your head. And I couldn't take you through the opening to my home, for some reason it wouldn't let me. So I took you here. It's an old cottage that I found," she smiled.

"But—"

"No buts, Kanda. Let me take care of you?" she moved to his shirt to try to unbutton it.

"H-Hey!" he stuttered, slapping her hands away from him.

Ylia looked at him, a little confused, "Did I do something wrong? You need a new shirt, it's bloody. I don't know why, but it is."

"Um…" He relaxed and let her take the shirt off. He saw the blood, but it was just a few drips. Then he heard the girl gasp.

"K-Kanda!" she shouted, covering her mouth.

"What?" He was going to make a joke about her never seeing a tattoo before, but when he looked down; he knew she wasn't looking at that. Rather the large scar like thing just below his left pectoral. It looked like a scar, but was just a large jagged circle.

"Wh-what is that?" she asked, running her fingers over it. Kanda didn't even jump; he couldn't _feel_ her fingers on it.

"I don't know…it wasn't there before…" he tried to recall how it could've happened. Was it from the fight at school? No, it couldn't have been; everything from that was gone… What about from the industrial world? But Ylia said he never went someplace.

"I wonder…" she proceed to turn his head away and hold it there. She ran her nail over it, digging in to leave an indentation.

"Can you feel that?" Ylia asked.

"Feel what? Your hand on my face? Yes, and it's straining my neck," he complained.

She let go, "No…" she pointed to the scar like thing for Kanda to see the indent her nail left.

"You did that?" He asked.

Ylia responded by digging her nail into his arm.

"OW-FUCK!" He responded, swatting her hand away.

She looked surprised by his choice of words, and simply chose to sit there with wide eyes.

"Oh…sorry," He mumbled, not sure if he actually meant it. But it was enough that she stopped staring at him with eyes that cursed him for using such vulgar language.

"Hold on a second, don't move," she said, standing up. Grabbing two fist-fulls of her dress she ran off into the cottage.

Kanda was never one to do what he was told, so instead, he took her absence as a chance to get off the rock. He felt fine, except for a kink in his back and a weird feeling at his jaw. But besides that, he didn't mind standing up and walking around. The breeze blew softly, making him shiver a bit, but he just crossed his arms and continued to look around.

"I told you to stay put!" Ylia whined as she came back out, a shirt in her hand. "Why don't you men ever listen to me," she huffed, hurrying over to him. She handed him a shirt that reminded him of those stupid pirate movies Lavi had drug him along to see.

"I know it's not like the shirt you wore…but I can clean that one for you and you can have it back," She muttered in apology. The look Kanda gave the shirt set her off on that route.

"Hm? Sure, but this is fine, for now," He replied, pulling the shirt over his head. It was a regular white with puffy sleeves and a slight V-neck collar that had ties around it. He didn't bother with them, letting the shirt hang open.

"I'll still wash it, if you wouldn't mind," she smiled.

"Of course," he said.

Ylia scooped up the dirty shirt and motioned her lithe fingers at him, telling Kanda to follow her. He complied and followed suit, about a foot behind. It wasn't long until they reached a stream, running quickly. It was sparkling with the sun and purity. It was clean, even the few small fish that swam by gave off the vibe of being perfect.

Kanda watched as Ylia knelt down at the side of the steam with the shirt. She smiled and waved him over to sit beside her. When he did, he tripped and—

It was raining, and Kanda felt a little weird. Seeing the only house insight, he moved towards it. Without hesitation, he just walked right in, not even feeling the need to knock. It wasn't his house. When he walked in, he closed the door, sniffing slightly to smell smoke. He crossed his arms over his—

_Her_ chest. He looked down, letting his hair fall over his shoulder. _She_ was now dressed in a sopping wet spring dress. Her hair was ruined. And god did _Kanda_ feel weird and ever so top heavy.

"You're finally home, god I've been worried sick," came a voice. And Kanda's heart stopped right there. Was that who he thought it—oh god it was. It was Tyki fucking Mikk coming towards him, just as wet. Oh wait, _her._

"Yeah…" _she_ muttered, a little scared to hear _her_ own voice.

"Yumi, dear, I've been worried. You were supposed to be home an hour ago," He said, tightly embracing _her_.

"The rain, stupid people, you know how it is," _she_ smiled.

"Yes of course," his hand ran over her cheek.

Kanda felt like he was having some sort of weird out of body experience. He could see it happening, he could feel it, but it was like he wasn't in control. _He_ wanted to pull away when Tyki leaned down to steal a kiss, but _Yumi_ eagerly responded, wrapping _her_ arms around his neck. The scent of cigarette was washed away on him, replaced with the sharp small of cinnamon. Great, he'd just taken a shower. _Kanda_ wanted to run. But _Yumi_ wanted to stay right there and let their tongues dance.

Next thing _Kanda_ was aware of, _she_ was waking up in a soft warm bed, under the protective grasp of the man beside her. _Kanda_ was almost grateful for those weird looks Tyki gave him in class. They had taught him to be wary of _those kinds_ of people. Even though in this case, he couldn't have gotten away from the man if he tried, _Yumi_ was in control, it still helped a little.

She snuggled a bit closer, only to find that Tyki was getting up. She whined and rolled onto her front, landing on his side of the bed, still toasty warm. Tyki chuckled and ran his fingers through her hair, over her bare back and down to the small of her back, even though that's where the blankets started.

"I'll be back soon, Yumi. For such an em—"

"Kanda, you really need to stop falling," Ylia chuckled to herself as she finally pulled him up the small hill. That was when he opened his eyes, immediately running his hands down his torso. He then collapsed onto the grass, sighing.

"Kanda?" she asked.

"I've never been so glad in my life," He muttered.

"Well…ok," She smiled, clapping her hands. "Good thing you're not wet."

"Wait what?" He shot up into a sitting position.

"Yeah, you tumbled down the hill and almost fell into the stream. But for some reason, you kinda landed _over_ it."

"Like floating?" he asked with a quizzical look.

"Yeah, exactly like that," she said, holding her chin, "I don't get it. Even elves can't float."

"Well…uh…" he didn't know what to say.

"Well, anyway, won't you come with me?" she stood up. "I went ahead and hung your shirt back at the cottage to dry."

Kanda nodded and stood, following her back to the cottage. As she walked in, Kanda took notice of how detailed her clothing and hair was. Braided into her hair were a line of ivy and a string of white that sparkled. Before the braid, her hair was full of light and dark brown highlights, moving perfectly within the whole of her hair. There was also a tiara like headband settled behind her ears. It took on the shape of ivy leaves too, along with the strange shape of a broken gear.

Her dress, too, the lace overlay took the same design, broken gears and ivy leaves. It was the weirdest thing he ever saw, but yet it took on a beautiful display in front of him. Her bare feet padding over the wooden floor, careful not to step on her dress or a splintered piece of wood. She smiled and motioned for him to follow her.

Ylia was even more careful on the stairs, looking similar to a princess in a book, or even from that stupid movie. What was it called? He didn't know, just that it was about some ring and a volcano. Regardless, even Kanda had to admit, the girl before him was pretty. She didn't speak too often, but when she did, it was sweet and forceful at the same time. Sometimes it cracked a joke or was followed by a quaint giggle. He wondered if she was capable of anything beyond delicate.

When they were at the top of the stairs, there was another room. Ylia pointed to the bed and Kanda sat on it. It didn't squeak, just collapsed slightly under his weight. He watched her disappear into a closet, humming a song he didn't recognize. But when she came back, she was singing slightly.

"At the end of the river…" she was singing quietly, he could only hear bits in parts. "Here weary traveler… Sleep the journey…" she stripped his shirt from him and handed him a towel. She retook the humming as he hung the shirt on the window. Every once and a while, she would resume singing, but very quietly.

Once he was dry, she handed him another shirt just like the one he just wore, like a pirate. He put it on and she moved her fingers, requesting his boots. He took them off and set them to the side. After a minute of pondering, Ylia decided they would be fine there and moved back to the closet. She tossed and pair of pants and a dry pair of boots to him. And in the cutest way possible, she smiled and turned her back to him, covering her eyes. She didn't stop humming though.

Kanda chuckled under his breath and moved to stand. After unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, he let them drop to pool at his ankles. He kicked them off and put on the new pants. Silently, he wondered why everything looked like it was from that pirate movie. One of the main characters wore it most often, he couldn't remember who it was, but he knew it was some dude who got married. Maybe he got killed; Kanda couldn't remember to save his life. Next came the boots, slightly less pirate themed. He chuckled to himself silently and pulled them on, sitting back on the bed.

"I'm done," he said.

"Excellent," she whirled around, "do all men change that slowly?" she giggled.

"No…?" was all he could reply, just a little confused.

"Well alright then," she took his pants from the floor, shaking them a bit. She stared at the belt for a minute before shrugging, deeming it was similar to her sash. Over the windowsill it went to dry.

"Shall we eat?" she asked, extending her hand.

Kanda took it and he was pulled to his feet, "Sure."

"I don't have much here, but I'm sure you'll eat anything. You look famished."

"Now that you mention it…" his stomach did the rest of the talking.

Ylia giggled and flew down the stairs. Kanda followed suit.

After being seated at the table, Kanda could only watch as Ylia fluttered about the small cottage preparing things. It smelled like stew, but Kanda's stomach just wanted food, it wouldn't care if _he_ didn't exactly want to eat it. Truth be told though, it smelled pretty good. Like beef and potatoes almost. He was right and gratefully rewarded when he saw it.

Bringing the first bite to his lips—

The sounds that greeted him where those of a crying child and the sigh of a woman. On his hand there was a ring, a simple ring. He stood from the strange couch he was on and followed the noise into the kitchen. Sitting in a highchair at the table was a small child, red hair. Beside the table though, was a young woman sitting on the ground. Her hair was in disarray and her head was rested in her hand.

She opened her eyes and smiled, "Kanda, oh god, please help me. He won't eat anything!" she cried.

"I guess he's picky," He shrugged.

"But I made him what he can eat," she extended her pale hands, and without hesitation, Kanda picked her off the ground. She leaned on him, she a head shorter than him. Her hair was red, her eyes, one brown and one green, and her short sleeved shirt let off the sight of her black arm.

"Want me to try…?" he hadn't meant to ask that, but seeing the girl like that made him.

"Oh thank you, Kanda," She smiled, pulling him to the table.

"Now, Ravi," she said, sitting in a chair, "will you try and eat for Daddy?"

Daddy? Kanda's eyes widened a bit. He wasn't even 18! How could he be a dad…he didn't even know this girl. Well he did, they'd been friends at one point, but she vanished one day. Kanda didn't know what happened, it was in second grade. All he knew was that whenever her name was mentioned, Lavi lost his happy demeanor, Lenalee sighed, and Allen looked like he wanted to cry. Even his father seemed to know what happened to this girl, but no one ever told him.

It must've had something to do with the flowers on her desk the next morning, the day she was gone. But Kanda still didn't know. All he knew now was he felt…happy hearing her say that this was his son. And she, obviously, his wife.

And he remembered her name, "Eri, I can take it from here," He said.

She smiled, "Thank god. He won't eat a single thing for me. I've been trying so hard, I guess he's just a rebel," she laughed. A sweet laugh that Kanda remembered very well, she liked to laugh…like Lavi. Her laugh was like his, meaningful and constant.

He returned a smile, a _genuine_ smile. Yu Kanda never smiled, but he did for her. Another memory, he did smile a lot around her. Taking a seat across from Eri, he took up the spoon with some vegetables on it. Ravi was just old enough to start eating real food, and Eri was trying her best to get him to.

"Come on, Ravi," he said. That name sounded so familiar…like Lavi.

Ravi shook his head.

"Hey," Kanda said, ducking down to be eye level with the red-haired child, "if you eat your lunch, I've got something for you."

"What is it?" Ravi asked in a high pitched voice. His large child eyes looked at him.

"It's a new toy, you've been asking for it forever, yeah?"

Ravi's eyes lit up and so did his smile.

"God, you spoil him, Yu," Eri laughed, laying her head down.

Kanda smiled, not minding her calling him that. Ravi ate the spoonful and every spoonful after that.

Once his lunch was gone, he raised up his arms to Eri, who in turn, lifted him up into her arms. He held tight, hugging her, as she moved out into the living room, where Kanda already was. He was sitting on the floor, a box sitting between his legs. Ravi was set down, and he moved to sit by the box. Kanda lifted him up, crossed his legs, and sat him in his lap. Eri sat down across from them, a never-ending smile on her face. Because of that, Kanda couldn't wipe the retarded grin off his.

Together, they opened the box to reveal a car set that Ravi had been crying and whining over for about a week and a half. He loved those small cars, _Hotwheels, Matchbox_, the brand didn't matter, and he just liked the little cars. Even more so, he loved to play with them. And Kanda was just as happy to indulge that, as was Eri.

While Ravi moved off of Kanda's lap to look closer at it, Kanda pulled the hood on Ravi's hoodie over his head. It had too blue bunny ears on it, and it was downright adorable. Ravi was pulled back into Kanda's lap and hugged tightly. From there, Ravi watched as his mommy and daddy put together the track that was in the box. He giggled and wiggled free from Kanda's grasp. It wasn't that hard, as Kanda just about let him go.

Ravi picked up a car and set it at the top, letting it roll all the day down the track without fault. He gave a different car to Eri. He laughed at her when her car fell off at one of the trap doors. She gave him a fake scold before laughing too. Kanda chuckled and gratefully took the car he was handed, setting it at the top. It didn't fall off, but one of the traps hit it off. Kanda sighed and blew his bangs out of his face.

"Ahaha! Daddy lost," Ravi smiled, sitting back in Kanda's lap.

"Yeah, Daddy's kind of a fail, yeah?" Kanda chuckled.

Ravi smiled, "A'ood kinda fail dough."

Eri smiled, "Yes, a very good fail." Ravi smiled in return and dropped another car onto the track. It went down flawless again. The next time, however, it fell through a trap door.

"Nuuu!" Ravi chuckled, scrambling out of Kanda's lap to sit with Eri. "Mommy, Daddy 'ave me hiis fail!"

Eri made an ever exaggerated gasp, "Oh no! Bad, Daddy," she said, pretending to scold him. Kanda smiled.

"Bad Daddy indeed," Kanda replied, taking a tissue from the side table by the couch. He tossed it at Ravi, "why don't you wipe it off?"

Ravi squealed and swatted the tissue away, laughing the entire time. Kanda returned the laugh.

And then he remembered something else. Something is father told him.

"_You never smile, do you Yu? You should smile more, you'll be happier."_

He'd said that when he was little. In fact, Kanda couldn't remember actually ever having fun when he was little. He'd always been kind of a recluse, even as a baby. After his mother died, his father had said, it had gotten a little worse. And when Kanda had met Eri, the insistent smiling and laughing, even though she would come in every day with a new Band-Aid on or a bruise was always there. She always had found some reason to smile, and he never knew what it was. Not even know. But it occurred to him that it might've been him, it might've been Lavi, it might've been Allen, and it might've been Lenalee.

So Kanda smiled and continued to play with his—_their _—son. Until suddenly he wasn't there anymore. He heard a scream, and he was in front of a small house. A scream like a child's. He heard something that he knew the sound of like the sound of his mother's voice. Beating.

Then the house burned down, in the middle, lying there, was a girl. Her eyes wide open, crying still. She was motionless, her limbs broken, bleeding. It was—

The burned down house spelt out the words for him. "Such an emp—"

He wanted to cry.

"NO!" He shouted, awake suddenly in that cottage. He was alone, until he heard the padding of bare feet on the step. Ylia walked in, looking paled with worry. She moved to his side, letting her hand rest on his forehead.

"Kanda, what's wrong?" She asked, slightly pushing him back to the bed.

"I…sh-she's…" fuck, no knew what happened to Eri. Now he understood the looks and the sighs and the depressing aura the lingered around her name.

"Who?" Ylia asked.

"I forgot about her…I didn't care. I was too stupid to realize what happened to her," Kanda muttered, ignoring Ylia's wordless pleas for him to stay in bed, he stood and walked over to the window.

"…Who, Kanda?" Ylia asked again.

"Her name was Eri…" Kanda whispered crossing his arms on the windowsill and letting his head fall to them.

Ylia smiled, "Oh. She's…she's just in a different form, Kanda," Ylia said, walking over to him. He looked at her.

"What kinda stupid talk is that?"

"Not stupid, the lesson of nature. Life is endless, Kanda. Your friend is not dead, she's just invisible."

"That doesn't even make sense…." He refrained from calling her a name.

"Is it? You've lived almost ten years content that you just didn't see her again. Remember? You didn't understand why her name made people sad, why it made your father cry and your best friend walk away. You never understood why your other two friends looked away, tried to change the subject, and had that look in their eye.

"You were content to think that Eri was just gone, like she'd moved away. And she did move, you know. She just moved to a different plane," Ylia finished explaining, her voice getting more cracked as she talked.

Kanda looked up at her. The girl's sparkling eyes were closed, yet a smile rested on her pink lips. A single tear, sparkling like the morning dew, fell down her cheek.

"Maybe I did know…" He muttered, "Maybe I just forgot to care about it…"

"Why do you bring it up?" Ylia asked, turning her head to look at him, seemingly oblivious to the tear.

"I had…some kinda dream I guess… I don't know what they are, but I've been having them all damn day! First everything was all industrial, then I was some freaking lady living with one of my teachers…and just now…" Kanda gulped, "Eri…she was my wife, we had a kid. His name was Ravi, the most adorable thing you've ever seen… But next thing I know, I'm in front of his shitty house," he pushed away from the window sill, "and I hear someone screaming and getting beaten! The house burns down and…" he stopped, his breath hitching in his throat. He shook his head.

Ylia walked over and embraced him without a second though. She held tightly to him, without as much as a word or sign of hesitation. She just stood there with her arms around her shoulders. And they stood in silence.

"Things happen, Kanda," Ylia smiled, letting go of him, but keeping her hands firmly on his shoulders. "Your friend, Eri, in another life she is your wife and you two have a beautiful child. But in this life, Eri's just not here with you," she smiled, hugging him again.

Kanda returned the hug, softly muttering to himself, "And…if that's true…then in this life I have you."

Ylia chuckled, "I hope you liked your lunch. You didn't eat much of it before you fainted. I apologize, but it's gone cold now."

Kanda nodded, "It was fine, thank you, Ylia," he said. She gave him a firm nod before letting go of him.

Ylia began to walk down the stairs, Kanda following. But before they reached the bottom, everything went black.

He found himself on board a ship of all the places, in the middle of a battle. At his back, just like old times, was Lavi. After taking in his surroundings, Kanda noticed the sky was the same as the field with Ylia. The horizon of the forest and tall tower was the same. Snapping himself back to where he was, he threw up his long sword to block an attack. His shield was long gone.

"Come on, Yu," Lavi chuckled, "Ya ca'do better tha'that!" he shouted, jumping into action. Kanda nodded, following his lead. Slashing a person out of his way, killing him, he spun around and stabbed another one. A quick back flip later and he was near the wheel, commandeered by someone other than who it should've been. He stabbed that person, taking hold of it himself.

"South, Yu!" Lavi shouted to him. Kanda spun the wheel to face the given heading as he continued to fight off goons.

Not too much longer and their ship was covered in dead bodies. Lavi only laughed, jumping over them as he moved to stand beside Kanda. He was quick to throw a couple overboard, just to clear the deck space a little, before leaning against the railing.

"Alright, just a little longer and we'll be at that island," Lavi said.

"Why are we going there?" Kanda inquired.

"Haven't ya heard? Tha's where da elves live, and ya and me se'out to go find dem. Well, tha's only slightly true. We comma'deered this boat, not ours, stu'id. Real Cap'in's down in da brig."

Kanda nodded, taking a moment to decipher "Lavi Speak."

"Won't be lon' now," Lavi chuckled.

"Take over steering," Kanda commanded. Lavi was quick to jump to it, taking the wheel.

"Where ya goin'?"

"To see the _real Cap'in"_ he said, mimicking Lavi's words.

Lavi chuckled and saluted, "See ya soon den!"

Kanda nodded and disappeared under the deck.

It was no surprise to Kanda who he saw after wading his way through the supplies under the deck. At the brig, in the dirtiest cell, was the sole prisoner. Alma Karma, his long hated enemy. Alma looked up at him from his seat on the floor. Quite unhappy to be seeing him, Alma didn't make a move to suggest such a thing.

"Hello, _Yu_," Alma said, his voice full of poison.

"Alma…" Kanda said.

"Enjoying your little _boat_ ride?" Alma sneered.

Kanda didn't answer, just stopped and let himself think. He and Alma had been great friends once. Was it simply that one punch that ruined everything? It did screw up his nose a little and give him a weird scar just over it.

"Why do you hate me?" Kanda asked.

That stopped Alma in his tracks.

That really was the only thing wrong. They hated each other over a punch. Kanda was always irritable, it was inevitable. Wasn't it? Kanda thought so.

"Didn't you know anything about me? I was always angry, irritable. I don't punch people so often now because I learned, but back then I didn't know."

"So it's my fault?" Alma sneered?

Kanda shrugged, "Maybe it was both our faults…"

He moved away from the cell, not bothering to hear Alma's angry remark to that. But when he opened the door to come back out onto the deck—

He saw the outside of the cottage, the rock, the trees, the fields, the flowers. And Ylia, smiling as she sat in the grass, her legs off to one side as was lady like for a lady to sit like that. Kanda walked out to sit beside her while she played with a flower. A rose, a blue rose. A rose that didn't exist…

Kanda had made a lot of mistakes in his life, never knowing just how to do things right when it came to emotional crap. Always had he known that no one was ever as close to you as your family, and taking that, he forgot to realize who his family was. Yes, he had a father, he had once had a mother, but he had more than the obvious. There was Lenalee, Allen, Lavi, and even Eri if he chose to believe in what Ylia said.

Then there was Ylia. Beautiful and trying to help him as he needed it.

"Ylia, can we go to your village?" he asked.

She looked at him, "I don't know, are you up for it?"

Kanda didn't know what that comment meant, but he nodded. He was up for anything. Ylia stood, motioning for Kanda to follow her. He followed the elf girl, yet he lagged behind out of habit. But Ylia stopped at the rock, causing Kanda to almost run into her. He didn't see what she saw before she turned around. A bird. A black bird. A raven. The bird of death.

"Kanda?"

He looked at her in response.

Ylia hugged him, shocking him a little. "It'll be hard to enter my village, Kanda. It's always hard for outsiders to enter," she looked at him, running her thumbs down both his cheeks, "but I believe in you. A wanderer, a dream wanderer. I believe in you, Kanda," she smiled.

He didn't even have to time to ask her what she meant before sealed her belief with a kiss. Immediately, Kanda let his lips close on hers in response, his arms wrapping around her thin waist. It was the most natural thing he had ever felt, his lips on hers and hers on his. He briefly wondered if this was fate as a spark ran down his spin. The hold around his neck was tightened and he was pulled closer.

When they parted, Ylia's face was a little flushed and they both were trying to catch their breath. Kanda took hold of her hand and smiled.

"I can do it."

Ylia returned the smile and nodded, squeezing his hand. Together they walked down the path, over a few rocks, and were soon back at the entrance to the heart of the forest. That strange feeling was radiating from it still, a sense or purity and perfect.

"Are you ready?" Ylia asked.

Kanda nodded and began to walk. Ylia didn't come; just let her hand slip from his. The closer he got to the light, the louder he heard one simple word.

"YU!" Lavi shouted as he came through the door. He was way too overly excited. But it was June 6th now; Kanda had turned 18 in a hospital bed.

Lavi set down a box in his arms, which held the cake, while Allen and Lenalee set down their own boxes as well. They were a little late, his father already being there. Alma was there too, feeling overly guilty for what he did.

Slowly, Kanda opened his eyes, letting them flicker for a moment before a beeping sound brought them back to life. He let his eyes open to fully take in the space. Everything was mostly white, a hospital room. The TV on the wall was off, and everything was decorated with streamers and balloons. A banner read "Happy Birthday."

His heart stopped. It was June 6th, _his birthday_. The last day was May 25th. He'd been out for almost two weeks. Wait, why was he "out"? Why was he in a hospital bed?

"Yu's awake!" Lavi shouted loud enough for China to hear. Everyone rushed to the bedside as Kanda pushed himself to a sitting position.

"Yeah…" he muttered, looking around. "Where am I?"

"A hospital," his father, Teidoll said.

"Mr. Karma decided to beat you up," Lavi, "So I broke his arm for good measure."

"Can I go now?" Alma butt in.

"Not until you apologize," Teidoll scolded. Alma sighed and flopped into a seat.

"How do you feel?" Lenalee asked, sitting on the bed near his feet.

"Like I fell off a ninety story building," He said, rubbing his head.

"You did get beat pretty bad," Teidoll nervously chuckled.

Kanda just rolled his eyes and fell back to the pillow. He looked around and suddenly remembered som—

But it was too late for that, the mini party started. There was cake, presents, and music. Kanda was even given a set of car keys, meaning Teidoll, the sappy old man, had gotten him a car for his birthday. Everything else was just normal presents.

It was all over when the doctor came in and told them they had to leave the room so he could check Kanda over. After annoying tests, he deemed Kanda was alright, by some miracle. But that he would have to stay at the hospital overnight, just in case. That made Kanda sigh and shake his head. He needed to go home, get some actual sleep in his bed.

By the time visiting hours were over, Alma had apologized well enough for Kanda to stop caring, not that he cared before. Lavi had almost passed out from the amount of sugar he'd eaten, Teidoll had just about told Kanda _everything_ that had happened while was out, _and_ that he had been in a coma. Lenalee told him that he was going to have to stop by school and get his diploma and stuff. Allen added in that neither Lenalee nor Lavi accepted theirs, and refused to take them until Kanda was awake.

That touched Kanda, and he thought it wouldn't. But once Visiting Hours were over, everyone bid him a good bye and let him alone. He fell asleep too, but woke up somewhere around midnight to a clacking on the window. He stood from the bed, though was told to say and rest. Following that, he ripped out any cords in his body still, and moved over to the window. He opened it and a dove flew in, dropping something before it seemingly vanished into thin air. He stared at the spot where it once was before closing the window and going back to bed.

Sitting on it, Kanda grabbed the little scroll and opened it.

_A raven means death, and that's what was there before you were sent through. A raven, a death to my part. A dove means peace, or even life. You have a new one to live, with a full heart, not an empty one._

There was no name at the end, and that was the end of the note, he turned it over and over again before he resigned to just staring at it.

The next day, Kanda was taken home with a firm warning from the doctor to stay out of trouble. Kanda disregarded it and went home, in complete silence. Once home, he immediately stormed to his room and slammed the door shut, ever so happy to collapse onto the bed again. _His_ bed. Kanda rolled onto his back and laid there. Something in his heart dug and pulled, giving him the feeling that something was missing, something that would've left the tingle on his lips and the need to smile. All he knew though, without her, he felt like he was dying inside.

"_But isn't death a funny thing? I told you it didn't exist,"_ a voice came.

Kanda shot up, but no one was there. But he knew that voice… Ylia… So it had all been a dream, and now he was going crazy. It was Ylia that he kissed, Ylia that made that feeling appear, Ylia that made his heart want to eat itself. Ylia…that little elf girl who promised to take him to her village….the _heart_ of the forest…

Hadn't all those people been trying to tell him something? Words he couldn't hear, making him realize things forgotten. What had they said though? An em…empty. That's what it was. They called him empty, an empty heart and soul.

Kanda sighed. But apparently, that note said he wasn't empty anymore. That he maybe had something in his life now. Like Eri's memory. Like Alma's apology. Like Lavi's friendship. Like his and Allen's fights. Like Lenalee's teasing. Like the dream that was Ylia.

He smiled and laid down, content now to live on, with a full heart.

Kanda walked into the building not a year later. It was college. He went from a senior back to a freshman, but Lavi and Lenalee were with him. So it didn't matter. He turned down the hallway to his first class where he saw a girl at the vending machine. She sighed, crossing her arms.

"Something wrong?" Kanda asked, coming up to the vending machine beside her.

"Yeah, it ate my dollar," She said.

Kanda opened his wallet and gave her another one. As he looked at her, her smiling eyes and pink lips, brown hair with a few strands pulled into a bow, the more she reminded him of someone. She inserted the dollar into the machine with thanks as Kanda bought himself a Pepsi. A thump followed the one his Pepsi made, and the young lady smiled as she picked up a granola bar.

"Thanks, your name?" She asked.

"Kanda. Yours?"

She cocked her head to the side.

"You're name," he elaborated.

"Oh!" She clapped her hands and extended one, "Ylia."


End file.
